Sunday, July 25, 2010

对不起。。老让您为我担心
对不起。。老让您为我难过
对不起。。老让您为我哭泣

一千个亿万个对不起都弥补不了我对你着成的伤害。
一千个一万个对不起都不能代表我对你的歉意。

7:49 AM
Indecisive...

好无耐。。好多说不出的害怕。。好多说不出的恐慌。。好多说不出的原因。。

"近来好吗？" 这大该是人们长挂在嘴边的见面语吧。。
我好想好想回答。。我非常的不好！！不知为何。。。最近长长睡不好。。。一晚上终起来好多次。。不仅如此。。还老做无理头的恶梦。。不想让人为我担心。。却好想好想有人在身边安抚我。。

是学校压力太大了吗？还是我快发神经了？或者我真被鬼缠身了呢？这些问题都每人能给我一个表准答案吧。。那有何必说出去让人笑话呢？大该是我神经过敏了把。。

真希望能有一夜的好觉。。可能这样我就不会老乱发脾气或老无缘无故的哭了吧。。
真希望所有事能回到重前的简单快乐日子。。。希望自己能别在胡思乱想了。。

7:23 AM
Indecisive...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I have a strong temptation to hide in my own little world and never step back out again.
I'm so confused.... Is it due to hormones? Is it due to many other reasons? I don't know.

Sometimes it seems as if i try too hard to please everyone around me. I feel like a clown. Smiling even when i don't feel like it. There are enough things in everyone's lives to worry about, why should they worry about a small fry like me. I feel like crying, I feel like screaming, I feel like throwing a tantrum. But i'm still smiling.

Confidence.. Its something that i can try all my life to gain but would never have. One thing i can praise myself for.. I am a relatively good actor though.. I can seem really confident of what i'm doing. But.. never trust me... I don't even trust myself so don't trust me.

I don't even know what I want. I only know that i'm not happy.. Wishes to enclose myself in my self built walls and never have to put on another smiley faced mask.

8:57 AM
Indecisive...